Today the charge of not understanding my girlfriend was levelled against me. By my girlfriend. No less.
I type today's entry to remind me of what a horrible boyfriend I've been and how I've made my girlfriend suffer. I always thought that my intentions were for the best but never did I realise that she was just asking to be understood. Until today that is.
It dawned on me how much my own insecurities have plagued me and that I have not grown up. And along the way she has been suffering for my stupid behaviour. Yet, she has put up with all that shit that I've thrown at her. I resolve to make it up to her in the best possible way ever. And that way is to simply let her do her thing. I cannot keep wanting to put her world in a bottle so that I can control the environment. Things just don't work that way. I claim to love her but if I cannot even let her have a happy relationship then how can I claim to truly do so?
And while I know I cannot turn back time to the way things were, I will just give her the space and freedom that she craves. If it's not to make the situation progress, then at least to make amends. It's the least she deserves.
Dear, if you're reading this, please rest assured that you will *never* have to deal with that kind of stupidity and neurosis from me again. I'm truly truly sorry for being the source of your pain. I will prove to you this time that I have really grown up and give you the happiness that you deserve.
I type today's entry to remind me of what a horrible boyfriend I've been and how I've made my girlfriend suffer. I always thought that my intentions were for the best but never did I realise that she was just asking to be understood. Until today that is.
It dawned on me how much my own insecurities have plagued me and that I have not grown up. And along the way she has been suffering for my stupid behaviour. Yet, she has put up with all that shit that I've thrown at her. I resolve to make it up to her in the best possible way ever. And that way is to simply let her do her thing. I cannot keep wanting to put her world in a bottle so that I can control the environment. Things just don't work that way. I claim to love her but if I cannot even let her have a happy relationship then how can I claim to truly do so?
And while I know I cannot turn back time to the way things were, I will just give her the space and freedom that she craves. If it's not to make the situation progress, then at least to make amends. It's the least she deserves.
Dear, if you're reading this, please rest assured that you will *never* have to deal with that kind of stupidity and neurosis from me again. I'm truly truly sorry for being the source of your pain. I will prove to you this time that I have really grown up and give you the happiness that you deserve.
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